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Writer's pictureShannon Stern

A Therapist's Personal Experience with EMDR: Knowing Firsthand What a Client Feels in EMDR Therapy

Have you ever wondered if your therapist has been to therapy before? If they practice what they preach, they have. So that's exactly what I did. I attended an EMDR intensive to continue my own deeper inner work, and to improve my understanding of a client's perspective and emotional experience during EMDR therapy. Below, I'll walk you through every step I went through as a client.


First off, what is EMDR?


EMDR is an acronym for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and is a therapy that focuses on using bilateral stimulation (BLS) to reduce distress associated with traumatic or unpleasant memories. BLS can include eye movements, sounds, or tactile sensations. For more information about the overview and benefits of EMDR, you can read about it more here.


Why I decided to do EMDR vs traditional talk therapy


I had previously attended a few talk therapy sessions about 6-7 years ago, and found that some therapists were more helpful than others, but after gaining only some relief from talking about my stressors, I needed something that helped me on a deeper level. I began trying IFS (internal family systems), which is a somatic based therapy that helps clients understand different "parts" of themselves. And let me tell you, this was the MOST helpful type of therapy for me. I grew personally and professionally from this experience and I am forever grateful for my previous therapist. The confidence I gained was invaluable.


IFS was part of the reason I got trained in EMDR, since it is another type of therapy that targets healing through somatic processing. And after working with numerous clients using EMDR, I saw firsthand how profound this type of therapy can be for those who experience trauma symptoms and relational wounds.


Now, it was my turn to be the client.


The First Step: Finding an EMDR Therapist


I decided that I wanted to do EMDR in-person, rather than virtual. This was just my preference. After doing some online research, I found a local therapist who sounded like a good fit for me and reached out. While you may have specific criteria, I knew I wanted to work with someone who was female, around my age, and had background working with other therapists/helping professionals.


The Consultation


After scheduling a good time to meet, I met with my EMDR therapist for a 30 minute online consultation to see if she would be a good fit for me. (Spoiler, she was!). She asked me a bit about why I was interested in EMDR, what my goals were, and gave me an overview of what we would be doing during the EMDR intensive. Then, we scheduled a time for an intial intake session and scheduled the intensive itself. We decided on doing a half day (3 hour) intensive based on my goals.


My observations as a client: I felt so grateful that this therapist was present, curious about my experience, and talked to me like a human! She was both professional and genuine, so the process was not intimidating at all.


The Intake Session


We met for an hour in-person intake session, where my EMDR therapist asked me about my family and my background, and we talked more in-depth about specific moments in my life that could benefit from deeper processing and healing. We planned to meet in the next few days for the actual intensive. We agreed to do 3 hours of EMDR on a Saturday morning. The intake session ended with a brief mindfulness exercise using tappers (tactile hand buzzers that vibrate very mildly-it doesn't hurt or feel shocking).


My observations as a client: I liked meeting my EMDR therapist in-person, since I got a sense of the office space and could get more comfortable with her as a person. She was very present, curious, and kind throughout the intake.


The Intensive


I was nervous to go! But I showed up at the agreed upon time and my EMDR therapist walked me through her thoughts about the day's agenda. We agreed on specific targets, and started the intensive with another mindfulness exercise where I talked about one of my favorite places to go-Italy!


Then it was time to get into the meat of it all: reprocessing and desensitization using bilateral stimulation. I used the tappers the whole time, although some therapists may offer sound or eye movements. I liked the tappers because I could close my eyes to visualize while doing the BLS.


When I tell you the time FLEW by, I mean it. Suddenly 3 hours had passed, and I felt calmer, very tired, and a sense of resolution and peace. I had both laughed and cried throughout the intensive, but I didn't feel as much distress or emotional pain as I expected. The most helpful part was having a guide (the therapist) help me focus on certain images to expedite the process of resolving distressing memories.


At the end, we used the BLS to imagine myself succeeding in the goal I had mentioned to my therapist at the beginning. This left me with a sense of hope and accomplishment. Then it was time to leave!


My observations as a client: I noticed myself at first being a bit resistant to the process, and was very grateful that my therapist handled this with skill and acceptance. I found that acknowledging and embracing my resistance was extremely helpful to the process, as it allowed me to go deeper into my inner world and understand the parts of me that act as "protectors". I never felt that I was "doing it wrong". I also never felt judged, which can be a big fear when talking about vulnerable subjects. I thought my EMDR therapist did a tremendous job!


After the Intensive


I was SO TIRED the rest of the day. The best I can describe it is by saying my bones felt tired. And this is normal! My brain had done a lot of processing, and rest is needed. I slept so well that night.


Overall thoughts: I am so glad I did this EMDR intensive. It provided me with a sense of resolution, and allowed me to feel more compassion for myself. I'm also incredibly grateful to have experienced what my clients experience. I would recommend EMDR to anyone who wishes to feel deeper healing.


If you are interested in EMDR Therapy or an EMDR Intensive, schedule a consultation with me here or visit my website for more information!.




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